Don’t get your kids pets unless you’re
Prepared to talk about sex and death
Pets of all types come without clothes
Not even those navy jackets
Donald Duck and Porky Pig wore
With the internet kids who
On their own figured out how
To set the time on Aunt Becky’s
VCR it’s safe to assume have
A wider knowledge of gynecology and
Perversion than you'll ever have
Despite careful crafted parental controls
We never let our kids in the ‘80s
Watch bloody horror flicks at home
They watched them all at a neighbor’s
Who had no common sense
Rearing children in the face of the
Culture is like walking into waves
Trying to stay dry when Ralph their
Hamster caught cold and died from
Pneumonia you wanted to help the kid’s
Soul was pleading for you somehow to
Swerve the path of fate comics assert
Hamsters are the disposable lighters
Of the animal companion world but
You called around explained your plight
Finally an old vet miles away agreed
To see your kid and struggling Ralph
Whose breathing was loud and watery
You rushed it’s Saturday past closing time
But the vet opens up talks to your son
Gets the medical history of his soft brown Ralph
Lays out the likelihood he’ll be in hamster
Heaven soon gives him an eyedropper
Some liquid in a medical vial
This will help comfort Ralph
Who’s tired of food and water
Keep him warm watch him
When he stops licking at the eyedropper
You’ll know it’s time no charge
The old vet said care for your pet
You’ve got your hands full
It took Ralph a day and a half
To give up his tiny ghost
The kids held a funeral in the backyard
It's hard finding bible passages for animals
Today Andy's a spine surgeon who spurned
Budding careers as a classical bassist
Reggae band leader actor for medicine
I sometimes wonder if an old veterinarian
Who knew he was treating two patients
Only one of whom was a beloved hamster
Had anything to do with it
c. J.S.Manista, 2015
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