20151028 (576th monthlyversary)

She left notes in my clothes

When I travelled despite my own

Packing she’d somehow place them

In pockets deep in my shoes for

Me to find as I dressed in the 

Morning away thinking of you 

Remember how much we loved

Doing this going there when 

We talked on the phone she’d 

Never let on say look in your

Shaving kit try on your tennies

I’d find most of them before 

I got back some calm some cute

Some just this side of bawdy

An occasional mint surprise in

My blazer carefully wrapped

Again in a tissue scented with

Her perfume she was like that

Not every day not every trip

But often enough to let me know

Not to forget her playful side

I tried to return the favors but

Was obviously so bad at it I earned

The tag klumsota it wasn’t my game

I failed at spontaneity big time  

Couldn’t bring off the deceits

Essential to throwing a surprise 

Party I hadn’t the practice flair

For lying cleverly quickly

Enough to keep a ruse going

I was sure she caught on she 

Denied knowing but winked at me

When she said coming home

There are a lot of cars parked

Near the house tonight I don’t

Recall whether it was for a

Birthday or graduating from

Nursing school sure would 

Have thought I’d remember 

I have no pictures no unused

Invitations to bolster its reality

Until I check with friends who

Should have attended I 

May have to set it aside 

As something I could have 

Done should have done

Even if I brought it off poorly

I would have made the effort

To return something for all

The wonderful gifts she gave me

Who would bake a cherry chip 

Cake frosted in pink with Diligence

Written on it for my birthday

Every year or every Valentine’s

Day make heart-shaped meatloaf

Slathered in catsup with red mashed 

Potatoes beets close to red

Little gestures less likely as we

Grew older consumed with paying

For kids in college another in/out

Of prison toward the end it 

May have come down to 

Remembering monthly-versaries

Each twenty-eighth of the month

Poems I wrote of her which she 

Regarded as undeserved or at least

That I helped her get her boots

On at church Sundays in winter

Kneeling at her feet with people

Standing about she’d had so much

Trouble getting them on by herself

The chronic back pain that worsened

Every day until August

c. J.S.Manista, 2015