Even More Whining About Winter

Dear Gangaroonies,

For those of you who haven't the opportunity to hone your snow shoveling skills I suggest the following: 

1. Fill a large freezer with sand, say from a nearby beach

2. Turn the freezer down to as low as it will go

3. Find a large industrial fan that can really blow up a storm. Turn fan on high and point it in the direction of the freezer 

4. Get naked or as near naked as necessary

5. Get in the freezer and begin shoveling the sand out with a teaspoon into the direction of the blowing fan

6. Have the good sense to quit before your fingertips fall off 

Welcome to Cleveland!

Love, Peace, and Hope,

James Manista

Hope Springs Eternal Dept.

My understanding is they're already printing the "I Survived the Winter of 13-14" on the assumption there will be survivors, who will have some money not spent on heating fuel, who are fearless enough to remember the season and to remind others who may not want to remember.