20160705 (thinning)

Garage sales: neither fun nor profitable but cheaper than "haul all" services

Packaging all the art is going

To be a pain. Big, small, long,

Short, and all of it unfoldable,

Fragile, and unlike tools, fully

Inutile. Better make sure I take

All the hanging nails, screw eyes,

And wires I’ve squirreled away

In baby food jars and peppercorn

Cans over the years. All the levels

Will come. Thanks to the nature

Of gravity they will be as helpful

In old house/new house as the 

Need arises. Most of the stuff is

Jean’s stitchery which I framed

Or had an art shop do right.

Next come all the pictures of

Andrew, Majida, and the kids,

Singly and together, which Andy,

Doting father, sent me through

Their early years. Only one came

Through with a broken glass—

The one I personally packed in

My luggage which TSA shattered

Inspecting and slamming something

Hard on top of it. Silly me, I had

Thought to escape the cost of 

Protecting it by layering it with

My underwear. Well, I sure hope

TSA had a great time scanning

My didies. Claims have to prove

They broke it and that it was safely

Packed in the first place. 

I gave up the idea that I was 

Going to profit from disposal.

Paid advertising is almost as 

Unproductive as Craigslisting.

Not one of the higher-priced 

Items has sold, or for that matter,

Even been subject of inquiry

Despite my listing them with

Giveaway prices. I dread the 

Thought of a garage sale which

In my experience nets dollars

For goods worth hundreds.

And they expose you to the 

Slickest of thieves and con men.

The worst are the Earlies who

Come at 8 AM when your ad 

Clearly lists, “Open at 9 AM,”

Brazenly asking like ferret-faced

Fagins, “Where’s your old gold?

Where’s the Royal Doulton?”

As if by pushing and shoving

You will give them access ahead

Of others who play by the rules.

Treasure is their due. Next are

The Cadillac/Mercedes Poor

Who never pay half price for 

Anything since they’re buying 

It for an elderly aunt, mother,

Orphan child, or disabled army

Veteran (as applicable) who have

NO money. Followed by the 

Critical Pair, one of whom wants 

An item which the other disparages

To drive your price down to

Where they wouldn’t be

Ashamed to buy it. There are more

Types in between but I wanted to 

Mention the last, the Garbage

Picker, who shows no interest

In items on display but will

Spend hours sifting your trash 

Thrilled to find a straight

Shirt hanger or old wallet. For

Craigslist crazies there are, of

Course, the ones who promise

To come look at stuff then not

Show up, others who attempt to

Get things for free in spite of

Their nominal price and who

Ask as they leave, “Do you have

Any old gold or Royal Doulton?” 

c. J.S.Manista, 2016