Bell phones, cellphones, hellphones |
Don’t read this if you’re already
Just sick of phone issues, for this
Is a tale of four (4) phones: Three
Tracfones and one Virgin Mobile—
All cheap beyond belief. I don’t
Need a camera; I don’t need the
Internet; I don’t play video games;
And I don’t text—I just call and
Talk to people and they talk to
Me. This is called conversation
And up until the the age of
Digitation it seemed to suffice.
Phone #1, lost somewhere in
The house. Worked well, I
Couldn’t find it so I bought
Phone #2. Shortly after getting
It home I found #1, so I kept
The purchase for the rainy day
When I did lose my #1 for real.
My sister got married fifty years
Ago (God bless them) and I
Traveled with my brother to
The celebration in Austintown.
Phone #1 fell out of my pocket
Into my brother’s car and
Disappeared briefly. Despaired of
Finding it and activated #2.
Kept using it despite lousy
Service: no bars; calls not getting
Through; everybody shoved i
Into voicemail; then voicemail
Messages at 3AM. Finally fed
Up with poor performance I
Purchased phone #3 (1-3 all
Tracfones-cheapies). Attempted
To activate #3 and was informed
By computer that #3 would not
Be activated because of an "issue."
And I would be getting in 30 days
A replacement 3G phone. This
Attempted activation rendered
Phone #2 dead. I’d be out of
Telephone service for 30 days as
I prepared to move. Agghh!
Went out and bought #4, this
Time a Virgin Mobile cheapie
And a 30-day service period.
After charging and activating
Phone #4 and making a test call
(It worked), I proceeded to chat
With a Tracfone customer service
Person or computer (hard to tell
Which). In the middle of that
Chat #3 buzzes its activation
Signal and indicates rather
Obnoxiously/gleefully that
Some fool really didn’t need
To buy #4. Tried taking #4 back
To Target for return but could
Not convince them to accept
It. Knowledgeable and kind
Return clerk but adamant re:
No refund. Decided to keep
Phone #4 for making harassing
Calls to Target management at
Three AM. I’d explain more
But I think you get it.
c. J.S.Manista, 2016
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