20160406 (euphemism)

Notice no RAFFLE, not here, not anywhere. See below

Sadly it’s reliably past March 4

And even if they were caught in

My week of non-functional phone

Service I would think the good

Christians at St. Ignatius High

School would have in good 

Jesuit tradition kept up the calling

Until they got through, especially

Seeing how I could really use 

The money. The important point

For me this date is that you note

There is no reference to a “raffle”

Anywhere on the face of the 

Ticket, or were you to search in

Its promotional, mailing, or

Other related materials. This is

Because the Jebbies either were

Smarter than the Marianists, or

At least smart enough to learn 

From them. Alas (that may be 

Too strong a word) I did not

Attend Iggy’s during my high

School years despite their offering

Me a tuition-free year. No, both

My parents and I chose for me

To attend the Cathedral Latin

School under a four-year tuition

Free offer—much closer to my

Home with no bus transfers.

Good ol’ Cath Lat is today 

Nowhere to be found in University

Circle amid the great Cleveland 

Institutions of History, Art, Case

Western Reserve Universities.

Its entranceway arch is located

In the William O. Walker 

Building after CL’s close in 1979.

CL had a “scholarship program”

Similar to Iggy’s. Unfortunately

Marianists were not avid scholars

Of federal law (or failed to hire

People who were) and called their

Scholarship drive a “raffle” in

Printed advertisements and on

Tickets sent through the mail.

Persons who will likely forever

Remain nameless alerted the 

Feds to this flagrant violation 

Of gaming through the use of

The US mail (by far more tickets

Were sold by individual students,

Or much more likely students’

Parents, or other relatives). As a

Result from then on the drive was

Referred to as Squidulum—

A term for which I have not 

Been able to find the source, and

Have always chalked it up to

Numerous others, like schumalagooch,

Attributable to second generation

Italian street origin. I came by

This knowledge when I was

Taking high school journalism

And wrote an article announcing

The upcoming Squidulum raffle.

The monitoring brother, who was

Famous for turning full-face red

In an instant caught the error and

The plates just as they were being

Mounted on the rollers at the 

Printer. Since these were years 

Before the mad rush of rabid

Accountability, I was not given

A bill for the reworked plates

Nor even advised to make a

Confession, seeing as how he 

Should have caught it before

It left the Latineer office to

The printers. And that was my

Very enlightening discovery of

The word euphemism. “Young

Manista, calling it something 

Else isn’t lying precisely, but 

It helps us keep clear of federal

Statutes, keep the school going,

And provide resourceful scholars

Like you a well-rounded preparation

For college. That’s good, don’t you

Think?” I remember these words

Each time I see “enhanced interrogation

Techniques,” “collateral damage,”

Or “ethnic cleansing.”

c. J.S.Manista, 2016