20160429 (the fall)

I got my doubts

Gray, rainy, cold Cleveland as I

Always remember her. The iMac

Challenging me with a better

Framing of an image I took.

Medicines waiting to be applied,

Swallowed (with a meal), the

Cat’s dish almost empty (no

Wonder she was so insistent), 

The dog waits patiently for 

His bowl to fill. I have these

Two fur-covered dependents

Whom the IRS will not recognize

Plus the roof over my head also

Waiting patiently, long-suffering

I believe they call it, for its 

Glorious restoration—I have

Responsibilities, if not just to

Lay down a line of sparkling

Repartee, some observation

Worth the electrons. Bear with

Me all of you while I turn to my

Maker and express my abject

Sorrow for not doing more quickly

What I imagine His will. Who can

Do that? Apologize for infinite sin?

Not that I’m so good at it, mere

Mortal, my life circumscribed by

The beginning and cessation of

Molecular replication of one

Particular arrangement of four

Nucleotides, which, once I am 

Gone, will go on their merry

Way as simpler forms to feed 

The maggots devouring what 

Remained of my former home.

No, I was taught from childhood

That we cannot make up for our

Finite failures before the great and

Majestic Father of all. Truly,

Who shall stand when He appeareth?

How did I screw up so badly as

To be deserving of everlasting 

Wrath? They didn’t wait till 

I was an adult. I was blemished 

In the slimy package of my birth.

I tell ya something is wrong here.

This “Everyone is tainted” idea

Doesn’t work for me. Not

That it’s not fair (which it isn’t)

But for those loving, caring

Dear sisters to tell children

“Every time you disobey your

Parents, you drive those nails

Into Jesus’s hands and feet 

Deeper and deeper,” well, I

Don’t care what they taught 

You at the mother house in

Altoona Pennsylvania somebody

Got it wrong. I’m no angel fer

Sure but I never asked for anyone

To be crucified. Augustine, 

Anselm, with all due respect.

You’ve got to rethink this—

There’s too much at stake.

It’s not like I’m trying to scoot

Out of my guilt. I think I’m

Ready to bear my share.

c. J.S.Manista, 2016