20160628 (aves liberae)

Starling, I guess. Watch my birdwatchers jump all over me

Rather loud chirping I thought.

I grabbed my trusty bird motivator

(A dusting wick on an extendable

Pole) and went upstairs to check.

I was not inclined to give the

Bird that much of my time, so I 

Simply opened the screens for 

The three front windows and left

It up to avian wisdom to find the

Open windows and freedom. I

Closed the doors behind me so I

Knew they couldn’t get any farther

Than the attic and the second floor

Parlor which opened to the attic.

Retired to ignoring my many other 

Duties requiring immediate doing

And opted for watching the morning’s

Democracy Now! (which I cannot

But remember Kramer’s “Serenity

Now!”). Knocking down a ham,

Swiss, and tomato on nut bread,

It struck me that the bird racket

Had grown worse in the meantime.

Checked email for urgent messages

(Hoping Craigslist would deliver

Another victim for my generous

“Giveaway” pricing), found none,

Picked up the cobweb brush and

Headed upstairs. If you’re any 

Kind of consistent reader you 

Know I’ve had critters—mice

And birds most often—squirrels

Twice, perhaps. Sophia has done 

A superb job of ridding the house

Of mice. I’ve found evidence that

She’s killed a bird or two in her 

Time (feathers suspiciously strewn

About a bedroom floor without

Explanation). With the squirrels

One closes them off in a room

And pleads in English, “Hey

Squirrely-girl, head for this open

Window,” as you deftly poke 

Them from their perch with

Any kind of stick that’s three

Feet or longer. Even when they

Leap out a second story window

They leave no rodent-splat on

The brick patio below, which

Means they survive with four

Sore paws. If you saw my house

You could see where the birds

And squirrels get in. Tree branches

Are very close to the holes in 

The soffits at places where the

Yankee gutters rotted the wood 

Below. There may as well be

A sign for an animal motel

Flashing red neon “Vacancy.” 

They crawl through the rafter

Space and into the attic. If I 

Knew exactly where I’d screen

Them off from within but there

Are so many holes and the critters

Are so small. This time I used 

The cobweb brush to hold them 

Against whatever screen they

Preferred flapping against as I

Wrapped my left hand around

Their tiny bodies (they feel so

Much smaller than they look)

And released them through a

Window where I’d removed the 

Screen. It’s affecting to feel them

Calm down in a gentle grasp.

Your fingertips can sense the 

Hurried heartbeat as you walk

To the window and tell them on

The way that God knows when 

They so much as lose a feather.

I was about to leave but the 

Screeching continued—second

Bird I realized. Same procedure

But I started to think, “Criiter

Motel”? How would they pay?

PayPal, of course.

C. J.S.Manista, 2016