20150922 (audacious claims)

"Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

Blogging lets every idiot play expert

I know that from direct experience

You have no more reason to read my

Words than those of the apocryphal

Joseph Fabeitz who about a 120 

Years ago got off a boat from Italy

To Ellis Island and registered as the 

Prototypical late 19th century Italian

Immigrant I know less of him than

Any of my Polish forebears but a day

Did not go by at Cathedral Latin School

Note not Cathedral Latin High School

As it was ignorantly misnomered when

My fellow students of Italian extraction that’s

What they called it boy I’ll bet that hurt

Would refer to the famous Joe lovingly

Stumbling through the inevitable learning

Every immigrant underwent from the

Problematic English words you were not

To use if ladies were nearby isn’t that

A standard linguistic first step of any 

Language learner once they are truly

Washed over by a foreign tongue

The words for genitals congress 

Not Washington whore pimp deviant 

Homosexual male and female

Why doesn’t Rosetta Stone and the

Peace Corps immersion studies start

With those it’s gonna happen so you

Might as well get it from an authority

Rather than learn it from the street kids

Of the host country you came to serve

At least you wouldn’t come off like

Some naive hick from the USA 

That’s what I mean about blogging

I write just about any sort of crap

Make it seem plausible if not the 

Downright God-awful truth that’s

What happened to me in high school

Where about 33% of my lifelong learning

Occurred another 33% has been assigned

To a year and a quarter of graduate school

Four years of college I kinda slept

Through college and the final 33% 

Accounts for all the other time I'm 

Hanging onto that last 1% between now

And my ultimate disposition 

Notice I’ve not offered one footnote I have

Nor cited research I might have so it’s all

Anecdotal but it’s told with such fervor

You’ve got to accept that I believe

It’s the whole truth and nothing but

So far as I’m concerned whether it’s

Your whole truth and nothing but

Depends on my being convincing

Enough so you’re getting what

You paid for notice I have no

Bothersome ads flickering at the

Margins top or bottom no offers 

Of miracle hemorrhoid creams

Or lucky numbers to play in the

Lottery and while I’d love for you to

Comment for the record if you’re

Any kind of troll your comments will

Be gone in a trice as for the wisdom

You’ll find herein I refer you to a quote 

From a famous late ‘80s comedy cop show

Sledge Hammer! as he points his cocked

Weapon directly at the TV screen fires

Trust me I know what I’m doing

c. J.S.Manista, 2015