20160108 (nature/nurture)

The identical twins were so 

Different in attitude it was

Causing problems in the family.

The positive one, Peter, ran 

Up to widows at funerals

And loudly challenged them

To rejoice, “Your husband’s 

Troubles are over—he’s in

Heaven having a great time

With God and the angels—

No time to cry.” And Paul

Was as devastatingly negative.

When dancing with brides

At receptions he’d tell them,

“You know 50% of American

Marriages end up in divorce

And it’s rarely a good outcome

For the wife.” Their parents

Were afraid to take them anywhere.

Yet the boys were so cute when

Dressed alike. If one could only

Moderate their outlooks. Pam,

Their mother had read in a women’s

Magazine about a remarkable

Psychologist who had success

With many troubled youngsters,

So she talked her husband,

Paxton into consulting Doctor

Perry. Following the parents’

Sad recounting of the numerous

Embarrassing and emotionally

Costly trials with the twins,

Doctor Perry waited thoughtfully

A moment, the forefingers of

His hands perched like a tent

Under his nose, and announced,

“All is not lost. If it’s OK with

You, I will subject them to Intense 

Contravening Environmental

Submersion—or ICES as we

Professionals call it, and we’ll

See if the untoward behavior

Ceases.” The eager parents

Having quickly signed the legal

Releases, Dr. Perry led Positive

Peter to a small closet nearby

Which was filled with horseshit

And to his parents’ dismay shoved

Him in and locked it with a key.

“Now, now,” Dr. Perry murmured

As he patted Pam on the shoulder,

“Desperate times—desperate measures.

I think you’ll like this more.”

He took the unpleaseable Paul

Down the hall to another room

Filled with every kind of toy,

Food, music a little boy would

Ever want.” Paxton and Pam were

A bit hesitant but still allowed 

Paul to take a seat among the 

Treasures, assuring him they

Loved him very much. “Come

Back tomorrow about this time,”

Dr. Perry told the parents, “and

We’ll see if ICES fulfills its

Promise. The following day Dr.

Perry led them first to Paul’s 

Quarters where he was found

Sitting in exactly the same spot,

Toys untouched, ice cream

Melted, music playing exactly 

The same as before. Paxton and 

Pam both queried, “Why, Paul?”

“Eat ice cream, get sick.  Break

Another kid’s toys—he’ll beat me

Up. I could get electrocuted

Touching the sound system,” Paul

Rattled off every excuse, shaking

His head “No” the whole time.

Dr. Perry’s face registered some 

Dismay as he suggested checking

On Peter. The door opened and

Peter’s face smeared with

Excrement delineating his teeth

Burst to the surface as he churned

Through the muck, “There’s got

To be a pony in here somewhere.”

c. J.S.Manista, 2016 (with apologies to the original storyteller, I think my

                                    Abnormal Psychology prof)